Dunmurderin'

And somebody else probably did a better job but, this was inspired by the Molson's "I am Canadian" advertisement back in 2000 -- which I've finally gotten around to seeing thanks to the Internet.

Note: This is a joke; no offense is intended to those who think of the Decepticons as proud, noble members of a misunderstood warrior race -- because some of them quite possibly are. Or to Seekers. Or even Starscream.

# # #

I AM a Decepticon:

Hey...
I'm not a noble warrior
or misunderstood...
and I don't feel guilt
or remorse, or any of those other inconvenient emotions...
and I don't know Gunflame, Tailhook or Acidshock from Agorahex,
although I'm certain they‘re yet more @%@#$@ Seekers.

I have a gun for a leader,
not a semi truck.
I want to destroy Autobots and humans,
NOT date them.
and I pronounce it 'retreat',
NOT 'strategic withdraw'.
I can proudly wear my purple smiley o‘doom -- except when they forget to draw it.
I believe in shooting first and to hell with questions.
Destruction, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT STARSCREAM IS THE BIGGEST WHINER EVER BUILT.
EYES ARE OPTICS,
NIGHTBIRD IS A FREAKING DRONE,
AND I DON’T UNDERESTIMATE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A FEMME, I UNDERESTIMAGE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A SEEKER!

DECEPTICONS ARE EVIL!
THE FIRST TO RUN AT THE SIGN OF BEING OUTNUMBERED
AND STILL COOLER THAN THOSE RENEGADE GO-BOTS WILL EVER BE!

MY NAME IS JOE!!
AND I AM A DECEPTICON!!!


Dun.

PS: The William Shatner one is freakin' hilarious as well. Though, chances are you probably already know that.

My name is Dun, and I am woefully behind the times.
But I do believe that Firefly is the coolest SF show EVAR!
And that Mal is a bad man.