I had to get this outta my head

[dunmurderin]

Strange exchange between Carly and Spike about Transformer sex, written in 10 minutes just to see how many words I could write in 10 minutes (about 371 apparently).



"Huffer and Pipes?" Spike asked, incredulously.

"You didn't know?" Carly asked as she turned around in her seat. "How could you not know? What did you think they were doing back in that storage area?"

"Inventory; that's what Huffer said they were doing when I walked in."

Carly laughed. "Oh nice save, Huffer!"

"But...they're both..."

"Spike, if the next word out of your mouth is "guys," I'm going to call my brother and have him inform you as to how guys can indeed do 'it' in excruciating detail."

Spike snorted. "I was going to say "trucks", little Miss PC."

"So? Prowl and Jazz are cars and it doesn't stop them. Blaster's a cassette recorder and it sure as heck doesn't stop him."

"But...HOW?"

"It varies." Carly stood up, moving over to the coffee maker. "For some of them, it's vibrations. For others it's just tactile sensation -- a lot of Transformers are basically huge cuddle sluts. For others, it's a direct interface of mind to mind but that's pretty rare from what I understand. It takes a lot of trust for one Transformer to link his mind directly with another, so it's a lot less casual thing."

Spike tilted his head, staring at his wife. "How do you know all this?"

"Simple: I made a deal with Perceptor, for every question he asked me about human intercourse, I got to ask him one about Transformers." Carly made a face. "I thought it would embarass him too much. I forgot that the only thing he likes more than asking questions is lecturing."

"Perceptor?"

"Yeah, intelligence is a big turn on for a lot of Cybertronians, which puts Perceptor at about the same level as Robert Redford."

"At least, it does if you can believe what he's telling you," Spike said, grinning. "I mean, what guy's going to say "I'm a complete loser" when asked about his prowess?"

"Point, but Wheeljack and Ratchet backed him up."

Spike stared at Carly for a moment. "You realize, you're coming very close to ruining my childhood here, right?" he asked. "I mean, what's next? A play by play about Prime and Elita-1?"

"Ironhide."

"What?"

"Prime and Ironhide. Prime and Elita-1 are no longer an item."

"WHAT?"

Carly grinned broadly. “Gotcha.”

Comments

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

...You.

Just.

OWN. XD XD XD

[koilungfish.livejournal.com]

:: falls over fic long after the fact:: Hey, dude, this is cool! Very funky. Fish would like to see an expansion and elaboration on the subject.

re

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

*grins and preens* Glad you liked it; I originally posted it as a snippet because I didn't want to lose the scene. If I can figure out a way to expand it or stick it into another piece, I certainly will.

Dun.

Re: re

[koilungfish.livejournal.com]

:: skritchies:: I wonder if Perceptor told Carly anything about Decepticon sex ...

Re: re

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

*hrmms* You tempt me to write the actual conversation.

Dun.

Re: re

[koilungfish.livejournal.com]

:: waves fins encouragingly:: Do it! Do it!