Internatonal Day of Femslash

[dunmurderin]

Today is the International Day of Femslash and I really honestly did mean to bring this up earlier but I forgot until like, half an hour ago.

I stand wholeheartedly behind this idea, I really do. Completely behind it. Very far behind it. So far, that I’m actually hiding in the corner over there because…well, I have a confession to make: I’ve never actually written femslash but I’d kinda like to.


My problem? I have no idea how to go about doing it. Which is DUMB, I know, since a) bisexual woman in long-term same-sex relationship and b) if I can figure out how Metal-Head/Gnawgahyde Transformers Techrat all of the above can have sex, I can figure out ANYTHING. Except maybe calculus.

My reluctance is partly nerves, partly (at least in fanfic) a bias toward male characters and, in the case of original fiction and fanfiction, a general lack of any sort of an idea for either a character or a scenario that appeals to me. I don't like PWP stories, mainly because when I write the scenario has to make sense to me so I end up having to figure out why those character are stuck in that cave or why the aliens would require them to have sex and spend more time on that than anything else.

It's also a tendency to avoid writing about things that are too close to me. I avoided writing about the death of my fiance for nearly five years and even then I kept it to writing about people who'd lost friends instead of spouses. (Making Do)

And when I did actually write about someone who'd lost a lover/spouse, it was seven years after the fact and the characters were Pipes/Huffer -- two Transformers. (Cold Comfort was the first but I honestly like this Untitled snippet better). The closest I think I've ever gotten to writing about what it felt like when my fiance was in his coma was "Luke 6:42" and even there, I was largely describing the action on a comic's page, filtered through my own experiences.

I get uncomfortable writing about personal things because I feel vulnerable and I don't like feeling like I've left myself open to other peoples' judgement -- yet, I post stuff like this which does exactly that so, yeah -- but that's a huge part of what ANY writing is about so I think it's time I start trying to broaden my horizons by actually taking a look at myself.

Lame, I know...this is what happens when I post right before work.

Comments

[okamichan.livejournal.com]

Hear hear! On the difficulties of writing things that strike too close to home.

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

Thanks 8)

[newsy891.livejournal.com]

Saying "I feel vulnerable/uncomfortable" leaves you open to those who would (stupidly) judge you to be wrong to feel the way you do. But actually writing a story about someone losing a lover - that opens you up to a different kind of judgment, and maybe even to those who would make a value judgment on your past relationship or your current relationship based on what you'd write.

So, no, it's not lame to feel the way you do; it's honest and true and human and normal, and thank you for letting us see this bit of self-examination that you would've had every right to keep private.

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

*peers at you* How did you read my mind? That's what you're studying at that school of yours, isn't it? Isn't it!?

Seriously, you're pretty much exactly right, particularly about the writing about death thing. And thanks 8)

[newsy891.livejournal.com]

Dammit, you found out what I'm secretly majoring in! This counseling thing is just a cover, ya know =D

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

Aiee~! *heads to store for heavy duty tinfoil!*

[dharma-slut.livejournal.com]

I think this might be part of why so many gay/bi/queer women don't write femmeslash-- too intimate for comfort.

I have written a lot of femme erotica, myself-- not as fanfic, though, and maybe not so slashy (The dynamics of slash are something I'm still trying to get a handle on)

If you were going to write femmeslash, though, what characters would you go for?

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

If you were going to write femmeslash, though, what characters would you go for?

For Transformers, there were two unnamed female Autobots who showed up in one episode of the original 1980s cartoon series. I'd probably write about them, because they're tertiary characters at best so the characterization field is open.

For GI Joe, again, I'd probably go with a couple minor characters. Mayday from the Devil's Due comics and Daina who was originally a member of the Oktober Guard (Russian version of GI Joe) in the 1980s. I've written the two of them as buddies/fellow snipers of Low-Light and I think the dynamic would work well with them.

For Jem and the Holograms: Christ, that fandom is like femslash nirvana. Again, sticking to the secondary characters, I'd probably do Minx/Rapture because Rapture is one of the only canon females to never be tied to a man in an episode and I could see her and Minx together.

In the first two fandoms, the reason for avoiding more commonly known canon characters is twofold: first, those characters tend to get more play and I like to show the love to the lesser-knowns and secondly, most canon females have relationships already set up and I don't like the idea of tearing existing couples apart just to throw a new couple together. That and major characters have baggage like whoa.

For Original Fic: I had an idea for a lesbian and/or bisexual werewolf couple that was originally an idea for a gay male werewolf couple that I think might be interesting because it would let me play with a rural setting and some different ideas for werewolf pack structure (namely something more along the structure of wolf packs in the wild where the group is more of a family rather than the more common urban fantasy trope based on wolves in captivity where the wolves are often strangers to one another). That and I'd like to write about two female characters in the sort of rural setting where I grew up and where my family still lives. I haven't done anything with them yet, but they are in my head and I'm hanging on to them for the time being.

[dharma-slut.livejournal.com]

Now, see-- I don't know nothin' about Transformers or Gi Joe, but I'd be really interested in your werewolf story! The dynamics between female wolves would make such a great framework for a semi-human relationship.

[tinpan.livejournal.com]

Why do you say this is lame? it's honest, confessional.

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

Because like a lot of people I think what I say is silly until people tell me it's not *G*

Seriously though, thanks.

Part of me worries that writing femslash is just playing to the eroticizing of f/f relationships -- which is utterly stupid flummery on my part since I know damn well I have no problem eroticizing m/m relationships or m/f relationships so what the hell makes me think f/f relationships deserve any special treatment?

I think it boils down to being afraid that I won't do it well and then people will...I don't know, parade me around the streets and mock my lack of f/f slashing skills and then they'll come and take away my bucket or something.

[lstarrunner.livejournal.com]

Ignore me, even delete this if I'm too personal here, but... you're bi, right? So... the f/m relationships technically should hit as close to home for you as the f/f... Is it maybe harder because you are in a long-term, special - no, unique in your lives - f/f relationship, of the "she's the one!" variety, so, it feels like you are somehow doing something damaging/exposing/hurtful to Amy?

My only attempts so far at sex involving a human are my Bumblebee/Mitzi story (shameless wish-fulfillment anyone?) and my original-fic woman/android pairing...which no one but me has seen so far because I feel like I'm somehow exposing my mate's preferences/habits more than with the 'Bee/Mitzi storyline.

Too personal? You have the delete button for this comment if you need it, and I won't be offended if you choose to use it.

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

It's more a fear of getting things wrong in terms of the portrayal of a f/f couple because Amy is my first long-term girlfriend -- which is again stupid flummery since Jeff was my first serious long-term boyfriend and yet that doesn't stop me from writing f/m couples.

Though, I got to thinking about this and really, by rights, Huffer/Pipes is probably the closest thing I have to a representation of Amy and I's relationship (though which one of us is Huffer and which is Pipes varies depending on time of day, level of sleep and barometric pressure *G*).

[lstarrunner.livejournal.com]

^^ You must be very cute together, then, trading those roles back and forth!

The best advice I think I was ever given on this score was 'write what you know'. That can only be better-qualified by writing what you are comfortable with. *I nod as I know what I'm talking about*

Maybe we can work something good up for femme-slash day next year? It is only because of you that I even know it exists!